Aardvark Avarice

07 - Let’s Corrupt the Youth: 80s Edition

I suggested I was going to do an episode on corrupting the youth and here we are. Is there any decade more corruptive than the 80s? I think not. If I wasn't a happily married man, I would still have my Like a Virgin poster hanging above my bed - I mean on my wall.

06 - Introducing Gorgon the Destroyer in Ask Gorgon

We are happy to introduce a new addition to Aardvark Avarice titled Ask Gorgon. Former tyrannical ruler of the planet Turloth, Gorgon the Destroyer, offers his unique advice to any listener with a problem or question. If you would like to Ask Gorgon for advice, please send your questions to info@aardvarkavarice.com.

Tidbit 03 - Do Not Open!

The following is a dramatized reading of a SPAM letter I received in my work email. Enjoy, but don't worry you have not been infected by malware. That itchy rash down around your junk is just Syphilis. I'm sure we have a cure for that by now.

05 - The Way of the Nerd

I am a nerd. I make know excuses. This is the way. For all of you out there who rock the horn rims, laugh at Apple's no touch policy and crack open that iPhone just because you can, and have submitted a Tron script to Disney for the next sequel, this episode is for you.

04 - Garbage Plate #1

The Hulk vs John Tesh, Deniece Williams for the soul, 80s D-bags, toilette etiquette, a hopeful Bromance, and plenty of uncomfortable singing. This is what happens when I decide to throw random thoughts and life events into a podcast episode. Enjoy.

03 - Nicolas Cage is a Vampire

Is he or isn't he? That's the question. As a lover of all things cult, absurdist, and just plain weird, Nicolas Cage tops my list of over the top actors who never fail to entertain. Even in the worst movies ever conceived. "Deadfall" anyone? But, could Nic Cage actually be a vampire? In this episode we will explore that question as well as a dude with a serious thanatophilia problem and we'll take a gander at a recently discovered vampire skeleton.

Tidbit 02 - Sorry Constable Odo

Not that I'm a fan of Britney Spears, but "Oops!...I did it again." I made a mistake...again, only this time it was in my apology for the last mistake I made. Let's hope this doesn't become a systemic problem. Anyway, sorry René Auberjonois (RIP), or should I say Constable Odo of the Star Trek series Deep Space Nine. Wherever you are, take solace in the fact that I find you far more talented than the subject of my last mistake.

Tidbit 01 - Sorry Ricky Gervais

At times I will make mistakes during my podcasts and I will have to take time to account for those mistakes. I just didn't think it would happen so soon, or with a reference to a comedian I find about as funny or entertaining as Jar Jar Binks. That would be Ricky Gervais. In fact I'd rather go to a Gungan seminar on prostate health with Jar Jar as the keynote than sit through a Ricky Gervais performance. Just saying.

02 - No Apologies

"Never apologize, mister, it's a sign of weakness." John Wayne said that in "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon." What side of the coin do you fall on that assertion and if you wanted to imitate John Wayne, but lacked a robust southern drawl, what Harry Potter character's voice would you use instead? Join me as I look at the apology, comedy, and bad impressions.

01 - Dentist is a Four-Letter Word

In the pilot episode I dive into that cuddly and loveable rapscallion, the dentist, and the enthralling topic of oral hygiene. Join me as I touch on the evils of fluoride rinse, alien probes - because dentistry and alien probes are undoubtedly linked, and gum love - which is bound to be the next viral sensation.